Can you believe we are already halfway through summer?
Work is busy. The laundry pile is bigger than usual. I feel like I can’t catch up with anything. And I am tired. So tired. Like, “if-I-put-my-head-down-for-one-second-I-will-start-snoring” tired. And, worst of all, I have a severe case of Mother’s Guilt because I can’t be home with the kids during the week.
- I want to hear all about Maggie’s plans for her alternative universe.
- I want to play basketball with Joey. Or at least, watch him play.
- I even *kinda* want to learn about whatever it is that Ryan is trying to tell me he built in Minecraft. Sort of.
I always thought that it would get easier as the kids got older. I thought they would be more independent and self-sufficient – not needing me as much as they did when they were younger. The thing is, they are. The other thing is, I’m not. I feel as though I need them more. I feel more guilty now for not being there for them all the time for the questions, quips and quality time; more guilty than I felt when they were babies.
The kids never make me feel bad about going to work. They occasionally say things like, “I wish you didn’t have to work today” but they understand that mom and dad both have to work. It’s me that doesn’t understand. I mean, I understand. BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
I want to stay in our PJs, lounge around, watch SpongeBob, laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories, play board (BORED!) games, break up petty arguments – the whole nine yards – and then be excited to put them to bed. I want the noise and the annoying. And then, I want the peace and the quiet. And after that, I want to watch the rest of Sons of Anarchy (seriously, invest the time – it’s THAT good).
But after that, I want to check the weather for the next day and make plans for the movies or the park. Maybe we could take a ride to the beach house or spend the day in a friend’s pool. Or maybe I could help them clean their rooms and listen to them complain about it the whole time.
After a few days home, I bet my severe case of Mother’s Guilt would magically go away.
On the flip side, I wish I had some time for me. Just me. Time to go through my closet and get rid of SO. MUCH. STUFF. Time to invest in writing. Time to read … ok, watch Sons of Anarchy (that’s right…I’M A SUPERFAN!). Time to paint the bedrooms – or at least watch Ernie as he does. Time to make potato soup. Time to do a huge food shopping and actually get everything we need. Time to take Rosie to the groomer – the poor dog looks like a dust mop. Time to sit and do nothing.
My “Yabba Dabba Doo” quittin’ time comes at 3:30 pm today and I get to be with my kiddies. Bet that Mother’s Guilt goes away pretty quickly…especially when I have to pretend I care about Minecraft.
Have a great weekend and enjoy what’s left of summer. Don’t let it slip away….